BEING INTROVERTED BY DESIGN
has really done a number on me. I’ve struggled my entire life with feeling inadequate, boring, unworthy, and misunderstood. At some point, I realized I felt this way because of my own imposed ideals. I desperately wanted to be like those other girls, you know, the ones that laugh loudly, speak proudly, and are the life of the party? The ones that share the best stories. That literally doesn’t give a shit about what anyone thinks of them.
Yeah, the extroverted girls.
Then I had a WTF revelation in my early 20’s. Being introverted effing rocks! Spending time alone, engrossed in a book, is time well spent. Sitting down with a cup of tea at night, listening to my favorite podcast beats any party. Putting down all my thoughts on paper and analyzing myself is actually soothing. Taking a long solitary walk is more refreshing than joining a group lunch. There is NOTHING wrong with any of these things.
But then I had an even bigger revelation in my late 20’s.
It was 2012, and I got hired at a Fortune 500 company. It was my first real job. A few days in, I found myself sitting in a meeting room surrounded by seasoned professionals. Someone asked me to introduce myself. I broke out in a sweat and somehow managed to remember my name and my title. Weeks months later, I realized I couldn’t even get myself to ask a question in a room full of strangers. I found myself taking notes after notes after notes. Never contributing anything, never speaking up, never having a presence. This was a result of years of being homeschooled and years of pursuing a professional tennis career. Both very solitary things, so any social situation made me anxious.
Social anxiety effing sucks.
Dreading social invitations, running away before someone I know sees me, not being able to jump into a group conversation, being debilitated at the idea of a phone call, and so many more instances such as these truly took a toll on me. I was mentally exhausted with all the limitations I placed on myself.
Enough was enough. I set a goal to have the necessary social skills to feel comfortable in any situation. I wanted the confidence to come naturally to me…the same way being anxious did.
My journey has now led me to you. Or you to me.
The effort I put in to get out of my skin was totally worth it. Yeah, it took a lot out of me, and I questioned my sanity each step of the way, but the results and benefits far outweigh the challenges I internally faced. I’m more comfortable in my skin and feel much happier in situations I once dreaded (such as being stuck in an elevator with someone I know). Anyone you ask will tell you that there’s no way I have Social Anxiety or that I’m introverted – but it couldn’t be further from the truth.
This is why I created HonestRox.
I want to share all the strategies I’ve used and impart all the knowledge I’ve gained so that you too can feel confident no matter the situation you find yourself in. I want you to be the best damn introvert you can be.