There’s nothing harder than getting out of a dark place.

Let’s be real about it. It takes timetears, and a huge load of self-realization to get out of a depressive episode. We’ve all been there and we’ve all gotten out at some point (I hope!). I recently found myself in such a place and it really felt like nothing could pull me out of it.

All I could see was a future of feeling…shitty.

I somehow powered through one day at a time. But the biggest catalyst for me was when I created a story about the reason why I landed in a dark place. See, it wasn’t enough that I had to move countries, sell everything I own, and go back to being a student…I had to also end up pregnant at the same time.

BOOM. Hello Dark Place.

Nothing about it made sense to me, and it just became this overwhelming thing that I couldn’t handle. And while many would welcome such news, it hit me especially hard mentally (ok I won’t lie, it’s a pain in the ass physically as well).

Until I created a story around it. 

While we always talked about having a second child, it wasn’t on our radar at this moment in our life, as we completely upended it. We had no home, no assets, and I was back in school without an income. So, in terms of planning, we totally missed the mark, which is why I felt so deflated. I was already completely overwhelmed by our situation, and now I just piled on with a pregnancy. But this is what I told myself: this baby wants to be a part of this new journey with us; this adventure and new life we started. I can’t tell you how relieved I felt when I changed my perspective on it. OF COURSE, I WANTED HER TO BE PART OF THIS ADVENTURE. And so she was.

See, if there’s one thing we’re all good at, it’s assigning a reason behind an event – we want to attribute a reason to why everything happens to feel some sort of peace of mind. Especially when unexpected things happen. So after many meltdowns and days spent crying, I said this to myself:

The reason this happened RIGHT NOW, alongside all of the massive changes we’ve undergone, is because he/she did not want us to start a new life, a new adventure, without them. 

Because I’m a person that believes things happen for a reason, I have to believe that this is why. It might sound silly, but it makes me feel better about the timing of it all.

So if you’re going through a really hard time, and you’re in a dark place, try to find a narrative that goes around it. It will change your perspective, and make it just a tiny bit more bearable if that’s even possible.

I’m right here with you. 

about honestrox

About Me

I help other introverts become socially confident. As a former
socially anxious person, I know how hard it is to be yourself
in social situations without letting anxiety get the best of you.
I created Honestrox to provide you with the best content
to help you show up as yourself confidently.

For more on my story, go here.