There’s nothing harder than getting out of a dark place.
Let’s be real about it. It takes time, tears, and a huge load of self-realization to get out of a depressive episode. We’ve all been there and we’ve all gotten out at some point (I hope!). I recently found myself in such a place and it really felt like nothing could pull me out of it.
All I could see was a future of feeling…shitty.
I somehow powered through one day at a time. But the biggest catalyst for me was when I created a story about the reason why I landed in a dark place. See, it wasn’t enough that I had to move countries, sell everything I own, and go back to being a student…I had to also end up pregnant at the same time.
BOOM. Hello Dark Place.
Nothing about it made sense to me, and it just became this overwhelming thing that I couldn’t handle. And while many would welcome such news, it hit me especially hard mentally (ok I won’t lie, it’s a pain in the ass physically as well).
Until I created a story around it.
While we always talked about having a second child, it wasn’t on our radar at this moment in our life, as we completely upended it. We had no home, no assets, and I was back in school without an income. So, in terms of planning, we totally missed the mark, which is why I felt so deflated. I was already completely overwhelmed by our situation, and now I just piled on with a pregnancy. But this is what I told myself: this baby wants to be a part of this new journey with us; this adventure and new life we started. I can’t tell you how relieved I felt when I changed my perspective on it. OF COURSE, I WANTED HER TO BE PART OF THIS ADVENTURE. And so she was.
See, if there’s one thing we’re all good at, it’s assigning a reason behind an event – we want to attribute a reason to why everything happens to feel some sort of peace of mind. Especially when unexpected things happen. So after many meltdowns and days spent crying, I said this to myself:
The reason this happened RIGHT NOW, alongside all of the massive changes we’ve undergone, is because he/she did not want us to start a new life, a new adventure, without them.
Because I’m a person that believes things happen for a reason, I have to believe that this is why. It might sound silly, but it makes me feel better about the timing of it all.
So if you’re going through a really hard time, and you’re in a dark place, try to find a narrative that goes around it. It will change your perspective, and make it just a tiny bit more bearable if that’s even possible.
I’m right here with you.