There’s a constant screaming match that goes on at my house and it looks somewhat like this:
Me: “Why do you have to sneeze so loudly, you scared the crap out of me!?”
Me: “Can you PLEASE stop tapping the steering wheel, it’s so obnoxious”
Me: “When are you going to the doctor to fix that post nasal drip of yours?”
The buildup of all these little noises feels like a huge avalanche that’s about to hit me at the end of a long day. That’s the main reason I cannot control myself from making such snide remarks. I know he’s not doing it on purpose, yet each insufferable noise feels like a focused attack aimed to specifically annoy me.
And it’s not just my husband’s noises that bother me.
A few years ago, a colleague of mine cleared her throat literally every 10 minutes. It grated my brain so much that I dreaded coming into the office. Her *ahem* was so unbearable that I was more elated to not sit next to her than to get a better job.
I literally fume inside to the point of exploding at anyone that snacks on something during a meeting at work.
That’s how mad mouth noises make me.
But I’m happy to report that I’m not alone. Such strong emotions surrounding noises fall under a condition called Misophonia. If you haven’t heard of this, you’re not alone. Before this new report came out, with details of the struggle some people have with “mouth noises”, I spent my time fixated on understanding the inner movements of an INFJ’s world. See, a few weeks ago, I found out I’m an INFJ type. Since then, I’ve done a ton of research to better understand myself. And I spent a lot of time finding others like me to connect with. Now, I’m shifting my attention to reading about the intense emotions associated with Misophonia. Suffice it to say that I have a whole month of revelations to process.
I thought everyone was just out to get me, one noise at a time.
In the article, it states that Misophonia is characterized by intense emotion like rage or fear in response to highly specific sounds. Particularly ordinary sounds that other people make. And that the cause is unknown. I tame myself as much as possible, even though I’m full of rage. It’s something I’m accustomed to doing because I know it bothers my husband whenever I complain about noises he has no control over. Who can blame him? But now, with this report backing me up, I’m free to rage on. That way we can both be annoyed on equal footings with another!
In all seriousness, the brains of those who suffer from this respond differently to such sounds. That’s clearly the case because I don’t see anyone else ready to break a vase at the sound of a cough. While I do feel insane about it, I’m also finally vindicated that this is a real condition. Mostly tied to the fact that I’m a highly sensitive person (HSP). It totally makes sense if I think about it now. If I internalize all the emotions of those around me, it comes without saying that the smallest noise possible will trigger me. Darn those mouth noises!
That’s a lot to take in within such a short amount of time.
I can truly say that I’ve never had so many answers as to why I am the way I am than I do now. I bet my husband is just as happy to know I’m not out to get him every night. And that I’m taking steps to avoid such extreme feelings.
For example, I can now have an honest conversation with him about what triggers me so that he understands where I’m coming from. He can keep the tapping, humming, and clapping loudly to himself if he doesn’t want to push my buttons. If there’s a colleague at work that’s bothersome, I can go for a walk to cool down and let them chew loudly by themselves. I can avoid situations such as these now that I’m more aware of why I get frustrated the way I do.
Now that I learned this about myself, I no longer feel bad about the screaming matches we’ve had in the house. I can finally cope with the fact that I am this way.