You know when you’re confident about something you said?
You nail the message. It makes TOTAL sense, and people seem to agree with your point of view. No one is really contesting what you’re saying, even if they think it.
It’s innocent enough, not much controversy to it, so you move on.
Except, life (or the universe) decides to chime in. Ugh, here comes the conflict.
Your message is rebutted. Nullified. So now you’re struggling to come up with a defense.
You feel cheated.
Maybe you know what I’m talking about, maybe not. Let me give you a concrete example of how this just happened to me.
A few weeks ago, I made a video talking about how important it is to stop wasting water on a dead plant.
This dead plant was a metaphor for a relationship, a dead-end job, or an unfulfilled dream.
STOP WATERING IT was my message. Loud and clear, it made TOTAL sense.
Until this week when I realized that the plant actually came back to life. Don’t ask me how or when, I have NO clue. I haven’t paid attention to it since I hosed it down in the last scene of the video.
But here we are, the plant is thriving.
So I was faced with two choices this week:
1. Address the fact that it came back to life.
2. LET IT BE and ride the first video out.
So, of course, I decided to address it. You know why? Because whenever I’ve been embarrassed/ashamed of being wrong, I never addressed it. I instead chose to fain ignorance. When faced with the truth, I cowered even more and doubled down.
These are some examples:
Stayed in relationships too long because I was scared of what it said about me if I left.
Pursued dreams for far too long because I was scared to admit that I didn’t know what else to do with my life
Continued working in jobs that made me miserable for far too long because I was scared to admit that I didn’t have other skills to fall back upon.
Made friends with the wrong people for far too long because I was worried about what the right people would think about me.
And so on.
This time, I wanted to make it right after being wrong #personalgrowth. Even though the second message isn’t as powerful or motivational as the first one, I just couldn’t let it be. I had to follow up with a new one.
If I had just let it be, I would have felt like a fraud.
Because I’ll forever know that the plant actually revived, thus invalidating my first message.
This dang plant.
So, what I’m trying to say is, don’t be scared to backtrack on something you said if new information comes to light. No matter how confident you were in your stance.
Sure, social anxiety might pay you a visit, and you might lose some credibility with others, but not with yourself.
Stay true to yourself but be flexible when faced with a new truth.
We’re all doing our best at the end of the day, so be kind to yourself (and to others when they change their mind).
I help other introverts become socially confident. As a former
socially anxious person, I know how hard it is to be yourself
in social situations without letting anxiety get the best of you.
I created Honestrox to provide you with the best content
to help you show up as yourself confidently.