Epiphany. Learning Experience.

Whatever you want to call it, I’ve realized something in the past few weeks. Other than the fact that I can eat myself to sleep and not feel guilty about it.

What else is a quarantined pregnant woman to do?!

Let me slightly backtrack to June 2019 (HOLY MOLY THAT WAS ALMOST A YEAR AGO). I was fed up with my job and the monotony of my daily routine. My life consisted of being in the car 90% of the time because #Floridalife. On top of that, I was absolutely miserable going to work. I told myself “this CANNOT be IT“. So, I did what any other person would do in this day and age, and I googled what to do next.

I highly recommend it.

I read through many many MANY job listings.

Then I searched through many many many lists of best places to live in the world.

Finally, I contemplated many many many different career paths that are out there.

I let my mind wander. I allowed myself to dream of the possibilities. 

– Move to Costa Rica in the Blue Zone area to drink freshly made smoothies and do yoga all day.

– Or maybe to Singapore and pursue a high-end career so that I can live in luxury.

– Or to Europe and go back to school so that I can follow a different path.

– Quit my job and stay at home for a little bit to see what inspires me.

I had so many thoughts go through my head, I was about to explode. Luckily, after many google searches, I fell upon a top-ranked university that offered a degree I was extremely interested in. Applied Cognitive Psychology.

Finally, something I was passionate about. Never thought THAT would happen.

So, on a whim, I applied to the program.

Did I mention that it was all the way across the ocean, in the Netherlands? This wasn’t SUCH a far-fetched idea because my husband is Dutch so I thought to myself “we wouldn’t be completely alone in a strange new country fending for ourselves“.

Except, it became a crazy idea the moment I got accepted into the program and had 2 months to pack up my whole life and move. While you might know this story, what you don’t know is that my husband was in the process of applying for his American citizenship which made this move quite INCONVENIENT, to say the least.

Technically, what it meant was that it would be a short-term decision as we would have to move back to the States within a year so that he could continue the process.

What do you think happened?

A LOT of people frowned upon this decision to move so hastily.

This was the main comment “why don’t you wait one more year and move then?

So, as you can imagine, being the anxious introvert that I am, I had this thought in the back of my mind ever since I landed here.

See, as I battled pre-natal depression, and commuted my ass two hours every day for 5 months to pursue this program, all while not having an income anymore and stressing out about my husband’s status, I couldn’t stop thinking that THEY WERE RIGHT.

Up until now. Because of my BIG realization (courtesy of the Coronavirus).

If I had listened and rescinded my application, my move to Europe and my hope for a different path in life would have come to a screeching halt because look at what’s happening in the world right now.

Based upon the outlook right now,  if I were still in Florida, I wouldn’t have applied to this program because of the uncertainty of it actually being open (the school is officially closed until the next program starts) next year.

Maybe I wouldn’t have gotten in.

I might have been terrified to take the leap because of the current economic outlook.

I might have been laid off since my company is in an industry that was already on its way out.

And I certainly wouldn’t be pregnant with my second child.

I recently realized that:

YOU CANNOT WAIT TO MAKE A DECISION.

There I said it.

While you’re mulling it over, you could be missing out on the time of your life. You could be missing out on love, money, career opportunities, etc. If it feels right and it excites you, what are you waiting for? Don’t let other people’s opinions get in the way of how you want to live your life. And even if there are some risks involved (such as my husband’s issue), the beauty is that there are always solutions to be found.

Remember, everything is figureoutable.

And even in a time like this, when things are EVEN more uncertain than usual, don’t let that get in the way of a decision you’ve been meaning to make. Who knows, if you make a decision even with all this uncertainty floating around, you might be in the best position of your life next year.

If there’s one extra thing this virus taught me (other than not hoarding all the hand sanitizer when it’s restocked) it’s that there’s no way to know what’s around the corner.

So it’s better to go ahead and make that decision today.

about honestrox

About Me

I help other introverts become socially confident. As a former
socially anxious person, I know how hard it is to be yourself
in social situations without letting anxiety get the best of you.
I created Honestrox to provide you with the best content
to help you show up as yourself confidently.

For more on my story, go here.