Shh, don’t say it out loud.
You know what I’m talking about.
Just don’t say it!
“I’M GOING TO THERAPY”
There I said it.
Oh, boohoo, what do Millennials have to complain about right? Between having our parents do our laundry, take us back in as boomerangs, and keep us on the family’s cell phone plan without paying a dollar? I don’t know what you’re talking about…la la la.
Life is hard for us.
In all seriousness, we’re faced with tremendous pressure on a daily basis. Whether that’s self-imposed or not is another story. Between navigating career decisions in order to find fulfillment, to crafting up new ways to save enough money to buy a home, to feeling hopeless about the state of the world, to having a plethora of decisions to make that our head will implode, and so on, we’re having quarter mid-life crises. Yeah, for real.
We’ve been told and nudged to follow a standard path, as success will greet us with open arms at the end of it. I mean, how DARE we not go to college? That if we just do what we love to do, then everything will be solved for us. I’ve always loved writing poetry, is Poet a job title? But then we stepped into the real world and nothing is how we imagined it would be. We’re living in an alternate reality. And it looks nothing like Harry Potter’s world.
On one side we see all our hopes, dreams, and possibilities, and on the other side, we’re living in our worst nightmare.
We’re consistently stuck pondering whether we’ve made the right decision. I mean, should I not have spent 10$ on this piece of Avocado Toast? This in itself is problematic because it means we have too many options at hand. And we all know what having too many options means…complete paralysis. I don’t know about you, but the fact that I’m free to quit my job without a problem stresses the shit out of me. Or that I can apply to a gazillion and one Masters degree. First world problems. There are so many things that are inhibiting us from getting a clear picture of how we want our life to look like. Of what direction we want to go in.
We are overeager.
We don’t know how to say no. FEAR OF MISSING OUT is strong with us, so we just say yes to everything and become so overwhelmed that we don’t know how to take a step back. We come into work early and leave late. That’s what adults told us to do. We pass certifications, add on abbreviations after our names, and build up side-hustles just so we have enough to fall back upon after we come back from taking that year off to travel the world. And “find ourselves”.
We are scrambling.
How will we ever pay off our student loans? Put a 20% down payment on a home? Find a job that pays well enough and won’t make us want to kill ourselves at the end of the day? How many side hustles do we need in order to feel financially stable? How many guests or riders can we accept in our homes and cars in order to make ends meet? Is it ok to have a baby while sharing our home with Airbnb guests?
We are anxious.
From the 24/7 news cycle to social media, to highlight reels, we’re experiencing high levels of stress and we’re not able to cope with that. All the while feeling like a fraud in our daily life because we constantly compare ourselves to others.
We look at our parents and wonder how they were able to figure all this shit out by the time they were 20 years old, and here we are in our 30’s, wanting to crawl back in the womb.
These issues are real, and they’re inhibiting us from leading the life we want to lead. Which is why we need to take away the taboo associated with going to therapy. This isn’t our parents’ therapy anymore, it’s Esther Perel’s therapy.
We own it now.
We own making sure we understand the root cause of our anxiety, we own the responsibility of taking better care of ourselves, we own the reality of not being able to “make it” like we were told we would, and we own doing our BEST to try to lead the life we envisioned for ourselves a long long time ago.
And we need to spread the message that going to THERAPY means that we are OWNING our life.
I’ll be the first one to tell you that I had many reservations about going to therapy. Oh, maybe 10,000. I didn’t even understand the process of it, let alone how to act the moment I found myself sitting in front of a therapist. What do you want to hear from me? Almost as if I was there for HER purposes, instead of mine. It really took me a few sessions to acclimate myself and to understand that the more details I divulged, and the more honest I was with her, the more clarity I’d have.
It was only after my fifth session that I realized the power of therapy, how therapeutic it is, and why it’s the best thing after Avocado Toast. Hey, I’m a Millennial damn it. If Avocado Toast is good for our body (so I’m told) then Therapy is what our mind needs. I tell EVERYONE I meet that I went to therapy to solve some anxiety issues I had. I’m a strong proponent of therapy and the more I talk about it, the more I hope to normalize it within my circle of friends.
Because after all, if there’s one thing a Millennial is good at, it’s sharing things with the world.
If it weren’t for Therapy, I wouldn’t have gotten the courage to take my toddler to 5 different countries. Or walk into a grocery store on my own. Or sleep through the night. And I certainly wouldn’t have the tools to bring myself back to the present moment.
Therapy needs to become part of our self-care routine because it’s a proven way to manage all these thoughts that consume us day in and day out. How can we go to work, be a good parent, enjoy life, and focus on ourselves if turmoil fills us up inside? It’s impossible. We need an outlet. And just like we’re part of the yoga movement, the mindfulness movement, and any other movement that involves spending money on experiences, we need to take Therapy seriously as an added component to bettering our mind and finding clarity.